2017; 2018

The last days of 2017 is arriving and the world will soon Usher in the year 2018!

This is the time for self reflection and creating resolutions. I tried to think back on the resolutions that I made and I wondered if I met them. The problem is, I don’t remember what my resolutions were. Was it to exercise more? I definitely did not meet my resolution then. Was it to make new friends? Also did not meet this resolution.

Thankfully for this blog, I found the resolutions I made for myself and it appears that I was much wiser a year ago. My 2017 resolutions were more of a way of living and quite well written I would say:

• Live courageously but not recklessly
• Live a healthy but happy life
• Live with no regrets

Judgement time *drumroll*

Of course judging whether I met them or not is purely based on perspective, so….

Live courageously sounds like a “Just do it” motto, I would presume that I met 70% of it, but I would say I may have been a bit reckless towards the end of November. I should think more rationally and no, desperate times does not necessarily mean desperate measures! Apply caution where necessary!

Live a healthy but happy life. Mmm… this is probably related to eating healthily, exercise and being happy. I suppose 70% again for this one. I ate happily instead of happily, did not exercise much but the main thing was that I was happy which is essentially a good mental state to be in. Or am I just making excuses for myself? Hmmm….

Live with no regrets. Ah… this one, I just had a pang of regret the other day. I would say 50% for this. I need to do better at my decision making.

Alright…. that was it. Wait I’m not doing a recap of my year as a whole? Well, I kinda just did. Perhaps that will be for another time. 😀

2018 resolution time!
I’ll probably have the same resolutions but change up the last one. The previous one just sounded like values for a Nike ad.

• Live courageously but not recklessly
• Live a healthy but happy life
• Live consciously of your actions, probably also to give back more to society

Well Happy New Year everyone! and apologies if I have bored you. May all of you have great health and an abundance of happiness in 2018!

Stop, Look, Go

It was late November, I sat patiently in the window seat waiting for the passengers to board and the plane to eventually take off to Dubai. I had just spent my waiting time working in the airport cafeteria and ate a lovely falafel wrap; although it could not beat the falafel I had for breakfast at the hotel, it was nonetheless tasty and affordable.

I looked out of the window and stared at the tarmac of the airport in Amman and the flag of Jordan proudly flying in the air.  I started thinking about how far I’ve come, how many places I’ve “touched” this year, and thinking that I’ve never quite imagined going to Dubai what more take a short weekend trip to Petra, and be amazed by ancient civilization. My lifestyle seems to be changing, my traveling style seems to be changing. It’s all stop, look, & go now. Time is so limited that there’s no time to take an actual break. I’ve changed from sharing trips by writing it down to just posting a single photo in Instagram.

I long for a good holiday away from technology, away from instant updates on your whereabouts, away from the constant need to update people on what you’re doing. What happened to the days before everyone became so connected to their phones? Alas, that seems to be the future and it does not appear that we’re turning back. I too am equally guilty. Maybe one day I’ll take it slow again, take an actual break, leave that mobile behind and wander around like a true blue traveler again.

Days like these

It rained silently, as predicted, as I just began reading a novel in a living room that was comfortable but unfortunately, not mine. I looked out and appreciated the rain. I wondered, I used to like rain, where is that familiar smell of fresh rain? I couldn’t smell it, could it be because I was too high up above ground in this HDB flat that was not mine?

I continued looking out at the rain slowly falling and thought, it’s days like these that I yearn to have my own place. A nice 1 bedroom apartment with a nice little comfortable nook to read a good book with some natural light, fresh air and no distractions.

Yet, here I am 30 years old and still renting a small room in someone else’s flat. Hmm….

 

2015 status check

It gets so depressing every time I get this blog’s annual report from WordPress. To sum it all, in the year 2015, I only managed 4 blog posts! On the brighter side, I have hit the 400th post milestone! Yes!

Anyway, since this post is meant to talk about my 2015 status check lets jump straight into it!

I vaguely remember creating resolutions for 2015, so I scrolled back 4 blog posts and identified my fairly short resolution list. Here it is…

2015 resolution list

1. Continue going to the gym. Maybe do more cardio?
2. Volunteer more
3. Less procrastination and lazing around
4. Live in the moment
5. Let what happened in 2014 stay in 2014, 2015 is a brand new year!

Looking through that list, I think I failed on all fronts. Gasp!

1. That monthly gym membership is like giving away free money. Yipes!
2. Volunteer? HAH!
3. Same old lazy butt here wouldn’t want to lift a finger
4. Live in the moment. Hmmm…. I… can’t measure or justify
5. Well I resolved to do something about it and I kept at it. But whether its the right thing to do? I have no idea. I think I shouldn’t try to forget but accept it for what it is.

Well, since I seem to have failed to complete my resolutions, which isn’t surprising since I forgot about it, let me just reflect on my 2015. I’ll reflect by asking myself questions and of course answer them myself too. Here goes!

2015 Honest Q&A

1. What do you think of 2015?
   2015 just flew by! Overall, I think it has been a pretty bad year for Malaysia as a whole. Since it’s bad for Malaysia, ultimately it’s citizens are suffering. Raising cost, slow economy, salaries that aren’t rising as fast as inflation. I believe 2015 is a difficult time for everyone.
2. Personally, how was your 2015?
   In terms of?
3. Well, what do you think you did well in 2015? Or rather what were your achievements in 2015?
   Hmm… I think travelling solo was an achievement. I would like to do that again some day. Other than that, I’m now a house owner. Now I hope I can transition to a landlord too. Owning a house is rather expensive.
4. Those are pretty fascinating achievements. What do you think you could have done more in 2015?
   Other than exercise more? If I could have done it all over again. I would have tried an meet more people, make more friends. I would also try and give my 100% at work. Ok fine.. 80%. Personally, I felt that I’ve been coasting/free riding at work. That’s pretty bad. Other than that, at the back of my mind, where I’ve conveniently stored it, is that nagging feeling to make amends with a “friend”.
5. What about your life in 2015? How have you been? What were you up to? Did you start any new projects?
   Wow, calm down now… That’s a lot of questions. Ok, I think I’ve been doing pretty good in 2015. My wrist seems pretty normal now. Although I realised I’ve been getting flus in 2015 more often than in 2014.
   In terms of activities, I don’t believe I tried out anything exceptionally new. Most of my weekends have been dedicated to the house. All that time and money. 
   Ah yes! I’ve started to learn to invest again. Hopefully I’ll do alright. Risky but well, we need our money to grow!
   Actually in 2015, a lot of closer friends got married. Lots of facebook friends too. I think it’s that age where you’ll start losing friends cause they’ll be busy with their families too. In the last wedding too, as I was leaving I felt a sudden overwhelming feeling of sadness. I’m definitely happy for the couple. But I suppose I’m wondering will my turn arrive? Hmmm….
6. How do you feel now that 2015 is ending?
   I honestly feel my memory is fading hahaha… Well a bit mixed, after all the questions you put me through, I think I did alright on certain fronts but I could have done better in other areas. Will I try and improve in 2016? Well, I haven’t quite figured out what I want my 2016 to be like. All I know is that I’m starting it with a dilemma and that money is involved. Definitely difficult choices to make.

Well, that’s it! No pictures to recap any fun exciting activities I did in 2015! Ah well, I’ll give you a little freebie.

The finale of the Rainforest World Music Festival 2015!

I won’t be writing about 2016 just yet. I need more time to think about what I want to achieve.

Hope everyone had happy holidays and a Happy New Year!

A game I cannot play

As always,

I thought of you again.

A fleeting memory that’s slowly fading.

I try to remember your face sometimes,

but the image of you is getting harder to piece as time goes by.

I suppose I fell too easily.

For what, I wonder.

I can’t seem to pinpoint the qualities anymore.

Perhaps you were just a perfect idea.

One, which I had not thought of.

Nor had I the courage to dream of myself.

Looking back, my behaviours were perhaps seen as childish.

From my lack of experience. Maybe.

If I could replay my actions,

I would have stayed away.

For alas, you are in a game that I cannot play.

Traffic jam wisdom: Grass is greener on the other side. Or is it?

Driving to and from work is a rather time wasting exercise. An hour just stuck in traffic can accomplish so much! So, a sudden gush of wisdom was bestowed upon me as I sat behind the wheel of my 20+ year old car. I shall share it with you, my dear readers which are slowly diminishing day by day.

Grass is greener on the other side

It’s a four lane highway, you’re queuing up on the slow lane inching your way to the front. You glance to your right and see cars on the fast lane moving much quicker. “Hey! That lane is moving faster.” Do you switch lanes?

Scenario 1: You switch lanes and once you switch, the cars begin to slow down on the fast lane and the cars on the slower lane are moving faster now. “Ah! What the heck!”. You end up worst off than if you just persevered.

Scenario 2: You change lanes and zoom ahead. You notice that the cars on the fast lane are slowing down and the speed on the slow lane seem to be picking up speed. You switch lanes again. You end up reaching your destination much faster than if you did not switch lanes.

Scenario 3: You don’t make the switch and patiently inch your way to your destination. The cars on your right continue to pass you by. This is a scenario of sticking to your choices but they are not always the right ones.

Moral of the story: Scenario 1 & 2: Timing is key! Observation is necessary. This sorta applies to real life. If you caught the start of the movement, you’re fine. If you caught the tail end, unfortunately you’ve missed the boat and left to eat dust. Better luck next time. This basically translates to “don’t be a follower and strive to be the leader” as well.

What about Scenario 3 where the driver didn’t switch lanes? Well, he/she basically missed the boat, but since he/she has nothing to compare with. He/she is in their ignorant bliss, until someone makes a comparison. The lesson here is that basically you gauge your own achievements. If you felt that you reached your destination in a reasonable time, that’s good. If you felt you should have been faster, well there is always tomorrow to try out a different route maybe?

Hope you’ll have interesting thoughts while driving!

Reappearance of the Wall

There’s been a lot of matters on my mind of late, mostly about where my life’s headed. I think all these came about due to too much time on my hands and not knowing how to utilise it efficiently.

I shall let it all out now! (Ok, maybe not all but most of it)

*Haven’t let out a lot of my thoughts here for a number of years now. Seems like I just stopped…. writing. :o*

Career

My boss has been trying to push me to obtain the CFE. I feel a really reluctant cause I don’t see a future at where I am. The department does definitely have growth but do I want to be part of that growth? Sure work is pretty exciting at times but excitement maybe 30%, dull stuff 50%, report writing 10%, another 10% downtime?

Think I’ve reached a wall in my career or I may have just delayed my quarter life crisis by 4 years. 4 years and more ago, I was thinking the same thing. What do I wanna do? What do I want to be?

I’ve thought of a lot of possible career paths, stay where I am take the CFE and see how it goes (grow with the team!), finance (what sorta finance? That’s so vague on so many levels), internal audit, migration to NZ or Aus and be an external auditor again, I even thought of freelancing as a book keeper (don’t know if that’s possible) to earn some side income.

Frankly speaking, I really do not have an idea what sort of career I want!

• Do you have to be passionate about what you’re doing? Well, but of course!
• Do you want to be well paid? Who doesn’t?
• Money or passion, which would you pick? Before July last year, I would have answered passion any time. But unfortunately, life catches up and it’s time to take some financial responsibilities.

Does this mean I have my answer of what I want to do? A high paying job which I may hate?

I read this article that asked you to ask a few questions about yourself to help figure your career out,  one of it was “who do you admire the most?”.

The first thing that came to mind was women that are at the top of their organisations and are also able to have their own families. I really respect them for that. How do they balance? But I also admire people that follow their passion and start their own business at well… my age or even younger!

Hmmm… Maybe I should start my own business. “But, I’m not the entrepreneurial type.”. I need ideas. What can I do? How can I contribute to the greater good of people?

Investments

I seriously need to give some thought to how I want to invest whatever money I have. Savings alone won’t work and eventually you’ll realise that whatever you saved can only last you 5 years, or maybe less, of your remaining life.

Stocks? Unit trust? Private Retirement Scheme? Forex?

Hobby

I’ve wrote this countless times before. I NEED A HOBBY! With my current injured thumb, frisbee (we don’t play no more anyway), is pretty much off limits, so would rock climbing, I presume. Not sure if playing the guitar is possible. On a separate note, I actually attended 10 classes of beginner’s Korean! So I can sorta read korean characters but I have no idea what I’m reading. LOL Some words like numbers are fading though, I better revise if I want to remember.

Actually, I realise what’s my main problem to what ever problems I’m facing. PROCRASTINATION! The root to all my time wasting! I’m indulging in escapism! I need to get to grips with my life!

Hmmm… don’t think I’ve written with so many exclamations before. And I can imagine how this will be such a dull read. Anyway returning to BKK in 2 weeks time. How exciting!

LRT pros and cons?

Well hello there readers! I see you managed to have some time to wander here although the last entry was a good 2 months ago. Since you’ve already arrived, I shall bore you with useless knowledge which you probably would have known by now because I’m gonna talk about the pros and cons of the LRT!

“OH! JOY! What a wonderful topic!” *Now, now, don’t have to be sarcastic*

I’m gonna write ’bout it cause yours truly am considering ditching a drive to work for a fuss free LRT ride to work.

The LRTs chasing each other?

So let’s get to the good old pros and cons shall we?

Pros
1. 2014 for me, hasn’t been a good year for driving
– Mid January , I hit a branch and dented the back of my car
– A week later, I scratched the side of the car with a shopping mall parking lot pillar *le sigh…..*
– 2 weeks ago, my car overheated
– Today, my car got hit at the parking lot by a lousy driver, who probably was trying to reverse park but failed miserably and hit my car and left it there like that without leaving a number. Just wonderful.

As you would have guessed, my car seems to be in a pretty bad shape with an average of slightly more than 1 incident a month. Odds aren’t very good.

2. The accountant in me says I’ll save money.
Cost of taking the car to work:
– Parking = RM120/month (RM6/day x 20 working days)
– Petrol = RM210/month (RM70/refuel x 3 avg refuels/month)
– Total = RM320/month

Cost of taking LRT to work:
– RM84/month and a lot of parents good faith (RM4.20/day x 20 working days)

Savings = RM236/month = RM2,832/year!

My oh my, I could buy a telescope with that money (which I said I wanted since I was in High School)! AND I haven’t taken into account car maintenance cost!

A telescope like Do Min Joon (from You Who Came From the Stars)?

3. I get regular exercise by walking from the station to my office

4. I can avoid those dreaded jams! Especially the horrid Friday ones

Of course I’m not going through that crazy traffic jam on the right. But it’s extremely similar.

5. It reduces my carbon foot print!

Cons
1. A major lack of freedom to move about

2. The reliance on my lovely parents to drop & pick me up from the station. At my age, it’s kinda sad. 😮

3. I may get pick pocketed on the LRT if I was caught off guard (stoning or napping)

4. Carrying a heavy laptop in the LRT isn’t the coolest thing ever. It’s heavy!

5. I’ll constantly be facing a moral dilemma of whether to sit at that empty row of priority seating dedicated to the needy when there are no needy people around. “No one’s around, should I sit? Should I not? What if someone needy comes in then barrages me for sitting there? Why is that uncle/auntie standing right in front of it instead of sitting? He/she looks needy, he/she should sit. Gah!! Look away, look away.” Think you get my drift.

And…. that’s a round up!

Conclusion: There seems to be some serious pros to it and well the cons are easily solved apart from #1 & #2. My own conclusion? I’ll just take the LRT if I’m working from office and don’t have heavy stuff to carry. For other days, I’ll just drive. I already knew the answer before I did this pros and cons thingy. I just wanted to rant about the lousy driver who can’t reverse park. Tsk.

1 month in a foreign land

Always wanted to join a Contiki tour to Europe before I turned 30. Although I’m still a few years away, I think my perception has changed somewhat. Oh! I still would want to travel around Europe, but I was curious what it would be like to spend a month in a country like Japan or Korea where there’s just so much to see, do & absorb. Maybe I should do that before I turn 30, but financially, doubt it would work.

I also thought it would be interesting to travel alone. But perhaps, I do not have the courage to move around alone in a foreign land where the language used I cannot comprehend. Or rather, I may be overwhelmed by the loneliness.

Farewell notes

I’m back! And that’s within 2 days!

Was checking out the stats page and noticed that I still get visits. Odd. Why would anyone wanna visit a dead blog? Heck! Even I don’t visit blogs anymore. Except food blogs.

Had an interesting thought today. Well, maybe it’s not all that interesting but it has something to do with this blog. I’ve come to the conclusion to write more. Or rather, to type more. But, who likes reading these days, unless it’s nicely animated. So I suppose whatever I write here from now on its more for personal reading and writing practice?

I’ve recently tendered from my fairly ok paying but stressful/time consuming/”learn a lot” job. While at work today, I was thinking of the farewell emails that all those previous people that left wrote and sent to the whole department and wondered if I should write one. But these farewell notes tend to be rather self publicising about one’s relationship with the colleagues they are leaving behind ala…

“I would like to thank xxxx for always being there for me and giving me the encouragement when I needed it the most.
I would also like to thank *you know who you are* for being my good friend through out these tumultuous times”

Hmm… so how would one write a farewell note? If I run through the years that I’ve been there, the experiences and friends I made, I might end up shedding a tear or two myself.
I suppose a simple
“This email you’re reading now is the last email you’ll ever get from this address. Adios.
P.S. Unless I forgot to write something and have to send this email out again. Jeez that would be embarassing.”
would suffice.