I don’t know how to start this. I guess the poem “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost comes to mind… *looks like literature in school was useful after all… useful for situations like this* … So the person is at a pathway that diverges, he picks the one which isn’t worn and that has made the difference… I guess now most of the people at my age or maybe a few… or maybe a handful.. anyway, I guess they are at that spot where the writer is, the spot where the path begins to diverge and he/she has to pick a path. The path which is well worn or the nice pathway ready to be worn by said writer.

But what if there are more pathways that we can’t see. There might be one that has been covered by the “lalang” and hidden from plain sight. Can’t we make our own path? It might lead to a cliff that drops straight down into a gushing river, but it might lead to a nice lush green meadow with a crystal clear stream flowing through it.

So now I have 3 paths, 2 in clear view, 1 is to be made. Do I take the well worn path, the road less taken or the road that has not been taken at all *or so I think, there might have been a path there but the lalang just took over*.

So far, I think I’m in the path which is pretty green and ready to be worn. But the path doesn’t seem to be taking me to places I wanna go, the end doesn’t look lush green with a nice stream… maybe it’s too soon to say. Let’s say the path is supposed to be lush green, but after awhile you find out that the trees and greenery are dying. You figure out why and you know/ feel that the end wouldn’t be very nice… Then you reach a point where you get to make the same 3 decisions again. Take that well worn path, stick to the ready to be worn path which looks like a withering jungle and the path that has to be made by yourself.

I am so eager to take my parang out and cut those darn lalangs! But there’s something holding me back, my lack of courage? My lack of enthusiasm?  My lack of self esteem? Maybe it’s all 3. All I do is mope around and not do anything about it. What’s the use doggone it! So how do I build courage? Enthusiasm ? Or self esteem?

I feel very helpless all of a sudden. This is depressing. Time to stop.

Yeap… U read that right! Of course December is movie month! We have “Avatar”! We’re gonna have “The Storm Warriors” too! Oh man! I can’t wait for Avatar…. Now I just need to coerce someone to watch it with me.. hyuk hyuk hyuk.. shouldn’t be that hard though… So I’ll probably watch Storm Warriors first… then Avatar.. cause Storm warriors is coming out first… hehehe… can’t wait Oh! There’s Sherlock Holmes coming out then too… hehehe… anyone? LOL

Anyway.. for the movies in November, I feel like watching Pisau Cukur… anyone interested? I wanna watch 2012 too.. there’s something about disaster movies that attracts the masses. Oh Astro Boy is gonna be shown in November too.. Astro boy looks Caucasian now…

Apart from declaring December as my movie month, I’m still doing the usual things that I have been doing eversince I returned from Brisbane… Which is…. nothing. Ok maybe not nothing. I am working so there is a little income flowing in… but apart from that I’m not doing anything else apart from pondering about my future… Should I work in a bank? Should I work for an accounting firm? Should I be a Management Trainee? Should I be a writer instead *Now.. this one is interesting… what about prospects?*? What do I wanna do? This is ultimately a very tough question… and I won’t know the answers until I actually try it…

I wanna go on a holiday… I wanna get a car… I wanna change my job… I wanna do so many things…. *cue… AAR – I wanna*

I wanna I wanna I wanna go on a holiday,

you wanna go on one too,

Very soon now, but we have no funds,

This holiday’s a perfect crime. *Not!*

I wanna I wanna I wanna get a car,

the car wants me too *this would be very odd….*

I wanna I wanna I wanna change my job,

The job doesn’t want me too,

What job shall I take,

I need to find the perfect job. *weird sounding lyrics..*

Looks like being a song writer is something I can’t do… hehe… I think I need to get hold of my life somehow… It might end up in a ditch somewhere and I wouldn’t even know it… or maybe it’ll even be sold and I won’t even know it! Yikes…. the problems of a graduate…. Ada kerja, tak suka. Tak ada kerja, tak ada wang. Is money that important? oh well… a lot of things can’t happen without money… and being in a communist country is something which I’m not rellly interested in.. though they actually have their upsides…

This entry is inspired by a facebook wall post, ZX posted this…

and do u remember why exactly u posted that on my wall on 29 April?

I posted…

muahahahhahahahahahaha

I didn’t remember so I went back to look at some pictures to refresh my memory, then I came upon a few snapshots. I saw one which made me think back to the days when I was studying in Australia.

All my study materials scattered on the table

Yeap! That’s my purple cup. That’s our dining table, we only use half of it to dine, so when we dine, we push everything to one side and after cleaning up, push it back down… after a couple rounds of cards though… Oh and the simple happy table is made in Malaysia! hehehe…

Yeap! That’s my fairly dirty pencil box, my calculator, my trusty mechanical pencil, my green highlighter, that would also be sheets of ACCt3102 answers. That’s also my hp stuck into a really cute panda. That would also be G Dawg hanging around on my laptop.

And that brown paper bag on the floor, it’s filled with stuff from SEXPO. Magazines, how to be safe, educational stuff… brochures maybe… and even some promotional vids… hehehe

And yes! That would be a partial shot of my roommate eating pasta, probably wearing specs too…. and if you look carefully, I’m actually facebooking and studying… Which I did more? I have no idea.. should be the latter. =)

Anyway… this picture brought back some pretty fond memories… memories of what we did in that house, memories of my ex-housemates, memories of the “house” *a unit more like*, the balcony, what we did that day. Frankly I don’t remember what I did that day, I know I went for classes then went to a book fair and studied and went to my housemate’s room to scare her… hahahha that’s why I muahahaha-ed…

That’s what it takes to repay the loan to buy a brand new “Myvi” *10 freaking years to buy an extremely common car. 10 freaking years! Of course the repayment rate is at a “comfortable” level. If you consider 1/4 of your pay comfortable… That is before your EPF & SOCSO contribution. 10 years! are you kidding me? So I would assume a house which costs maybe 5 times more than a car would take 50 years for me to repay it?

I’ll forever be in debt! I’ll only be financially free when I’m 70 that is if I live until 70… Looks like I’m better off with a bicycle. Or maybe I should rely on public transport and take 3 hours to get to a place which probably only takes 45 mins to get to buy car. So let’s say I want to go to point A from my house, it’s approximately 45 mins away by car. I take the bus to the nearest hub, I take another bus from that hub to another hub, I take another bus from that hub to another hub… and maybe another to another hub… and then I take a bus to the destination… Let’s say I leave at 9 am. I reach there at 12pm.. hmmm just in time for lunch. How wonderful. So If I start work at 9am, I leave my house at 6 am? When I finish work at 6pm, I reach home at 9pm? I go to sleep at 10 and wake up at 5am… I wonder if I have anytime to do anything else… **

Sometimes I really wonder how Malaysian can afford so many things… Car prices are through the roof, basic necessities like groceries too, houses I dunno maybe the same, good are like pricier than other countries *weaker ringgit*, but the pay isn’t higher than he others, it’s the same and reports always say that the cost of living in Malaysia is not high. Very perplexing indeed.

Comparison. AUD is approx 3x stronger than MYR. Their groceries are 3x cheaper than ours, their cars are so much more cheaper than ours. Example, Mini Coopers around every corner. Houses maybe the same. Their pay? More than ours / comparable. But then spend less than us! Maybe their rent is more expensive. Which could be the case. In a way, they spend 3 times less than us. So they spend more? Maybe. I don’t know.

10 freaking years to own a Myvi? I give up. I’ll just not drive at all.

10 years man! 10 years!

*approximately, interest rate = 5%.

** Largely exaggerated, won’t be surprised if it happens though.

I think I figured out what I wanna do… or maybe I think… I have many plans but I rarely execute them.. I guess they are all dreams. Sad, but true. Anyway, my plan for now is….

Once in every month I’ll try to do something different or new *monthly to save cost, if I do it every week, I’ll be broke before I know it* to figure out what sort of hobby I want. Like… maybe in November I go rock climbing, then in December I go for paintball… and then for the other months there are white water rafting, abseiling down a waterfall, hiking *all are kind pricey* and some more stuff which I haven’t figured out yet.

But to do all of these…. I gotta get a car first… I can’t possibly hire a taxi to get there and get back.

#1, it’s pricey.

#2, it could be dangerous.

#3, it’s so inconvenient!

So car loans here I come… Now the problem is whether to get a brand new car or a secondhand car… it’ll definitely be a Myvi though… or something in that range. It would be nice if I have those original mini coopers but I probably would get to drive it, but look at it in the repair shop all day.

So, secondhand/ first hand? Tough tough… I would prefer a new one, but my brother suggest otherwise… I have absolutely no idea. Yikes!

On a different note, I’ve been gleefully watching “Glee” lately. The show is entertaining, song and dance, it’s like a musical series, fav after “Pushing Daisies”, no series can beat “Pushing Daisies” in my books. Oh Jayma Mays, Emma in “Glee”, was a guest actress in “Pushing Daisies” first season, and Kristin Chenoweth, Olive in “Pushing Daisies”, guest starred in “Glee” recently… interesting stuff…

Let’s see, what else can I insert into this entry. Well, I still haven’t figured what sort of career I want. I think I just want to do something I’m passionate about. Making payments to supplier isn’t really something which I can pour my passion into, nor is speaking my “lousy, inaccurate, funny sounding” mandarin to the bank lady in China, trying to figure out what happened to the payment I made. That is no fun at all, especially if I don’t understand what she’s saying. Ok, maybe a little. I just understand part of it and just make sense of the rest of it. Still… This sucks!

Oh yeah, I guess Beyonce isn’t coming anymore. Wearn Cheah, it’s “postponed”, cause they announced it that way… postponed indefinitely probably which also means cancelled lar… I guess they just didn’t want to use the word “cancelled”. Hmm.. let’s see if there are anymore interesting concerts about to happen. I heard Bon Jovi is gonna be on tour. I wonder if they’ll come here.

Oh did anyone hear about RM50 for credit cards? RM25 for supplementary. I wonder if there would be an influx in people cutting their credit cards. Probably. Quite likely. Good news for green technology though, I wonder if that would make Tesla come here… hmmm… Well, doesn’t hurt to dream a little.

A little focus please! Please! Please!

I need a little more focus! Focus on what I really want! Focus on what I need to do! Focus on moving on!

Not focus on “searching for Regina Spektor videos on youtube”, btw her new album “Far” is really good though; “playing flash games”, “stumbling upon stuff”, hanging around facebook, walking around the house doing nothing in particular or trying to figure out what to type for this “Lost focus” entry.

I need to refocus here! I need the will. I’m so darn lazy for my own good. What the hell am I doing cruising through life, I’m not even cruising, I don’t even know what it’s called. It’s like cruising but I move pretty fast that I don’t get to enjoy anything on the way. I just move along, never stopping by to stop and smell the roses in pursuing something that I don’t even enjoy. I only enjoy the companionship of it all. Just hanging on to a thread and waiting for someone  or something or… just waiting for help in general. But come on now! You can always help yourself! Pull yourself up! Oh! Man!

GO WRITE THAT COVER LETTER!

*Ok.. I’m scaring myself a little*

Cheerios peeps….

By the way, is it to late to ask if anyone wants to watch Beyonce? From the furthest seat available? hehehe =)

I’ve been thinking of some funny *to me* memories lately.

Memory 1: Me and my ex-roomie were trying to try out the 3G on the skype phone, since it should have 3G considering it was a 3 mobile phone. So she made a video call to me. We were walking next to each other on the way to the city when we wanted to try this. Now the Skype phone is a candy bar  phone. So if I’m holding the phone with the screen towards me, the camera is on the other side, which makes a lot of sense… So she calls me and I answer the call, so her face appears on the screen. Oh cool… we can make video calls! Then I look at her screen and it looks really odd… my face isn’t there… So we were wondering what her screen was showing. Majority of the time playing with the phone was while waiting for the pedestrian crossing. So after awhile only we realised that the camera was showing the person in front… more like the bottom half of the person in front…. hahahhaha what a lousy phone! SoI could get video calls, but I can’t see the person calling if they want to see me… odd odd..

The second memory was jogged by a fellow colleague bringing Macau cookies to the office. Macau has lovely egg rolls… and that’s what jogged my memory.

Memory 2: When I was in Brisbane, everytime I enter a particular asian grocery store I would be staring at the tins of egg rolls and tell my housemates that they are very nice. Everytime I look at it, they would ask me to buy it.. and I would say, expensive-lar… The next time I go in, I’ll look at it again and say “feel like eating”, then they would say “buy-lar..” then I would say “expensive-lar…” It keeps going on… I wonder if they ever got bored.  I never bought a tin of egg rolls in Brisbane. I forgot about it when I came back… Out of sight outta mind indeed… LOL

Hey! Anyone heard Airasia is flying to France? That is awesome! Now I wanna go to France! Or London.. or Hong Kong or Taiwan.. or… Abu Dhabi! Or maybe I wait for AirAsia X’s US flight eh? Or maybe they’ll fly to Greece… hehehe… So many places to go, so little cash. Maybe I’ll end up job hopping to earn money to go traveling… now that isn’t very good. Hmmm…. The future is like a blank canvas currently. The canvas of the present however, is filled with many lines from one source. Me. Yikes… What am I gonna do? Take it as it comes? But after a year or so, I ain’t really allowed to go “discover” now am I?

The time is NOW! No one got anywhere by doing nothing. But that is precisely what I’m doing. What the heck am I doing!?!

Goal of the week. Take Action! It’s now or never.

Ok… Apart from just slacking this couple of weeks, work is fine, piling up though… life is.. well.. normal. I’m yet to find a hobby though. Hmmm… Oh I was at a friends open house and I was playing around with her “beginner” dslr… it’s a pretty cool thingy. Makes me wanna…. oh well.. Let’s go traveling!

Goodness I suck as this hobby thing. I was thinking I could go bring my camera if I go jogging in case I see something nice… then I remember, what if I get robbed? That isn’t very good now is it. There goes a potential hobby!

Oh yes, there was a convention about Adventure Asia 2009, which I missed. Darn! Let’s jsut wait for next year then… Anyone wants to go white water rafting?

Current hobby: Reading the ikea catalogue and fantasize about a make believe studio unit.

P.S. I’m eye-ing a very nice table. LOL *Occasional table RM699…*

Ah!!!!! They have Boost Juice in KLCC!!!!! *Oklar.. maybe it has been there for sometime but I only realised it now… stilll……* BOOST JUICE is in KLCC!!!!!

I wonder if it tastes the same as the one in Australia.. hehe *doubt it though* hopefully it would though. Can’t wait to give it a try. Hopefully it’s not priced to exorbitantly…. I’ll go ballistic!

Anyway… time to flee… Oh I was in a shaking building yesterday. It was after work, there were about 3 of us left, first, I felt the chair shake, I thought it was nothing… then my colleague said… is the building shaking? I went “Yeah ah!” then we just ran down with our stuff… hahaha…

Anyway, the moral of the story is…..
Leave work on time.

Looks like them tectonic plates are moving pretty furiously this time…. One yesterday, another today. Looks like the Earth doesn’t want us here…. *It’s just developing, maybe that’s how the dinosaurs went extinct. Died of natural causes*

Anyway, cheerios!

First off, Selamat Hari Raya to all the Muslims celebrating Hari Raya! Have a safe trip home and back. Have a wonderful time celebrating too!

Anyway, time for the entry of the day. I’m not gonna talk about any sports goals, I don’t watch ‘em, I only read ‘em, so I can’t tell you how fantastic a goal was… Besides, I’m not talking about that kinda goals… I’m talking ’bout those long term goals, mid-term goals, short term goals etc… like the 5 year plan, 10 year plan, 1 month plan, etc…. For me, it’s a 1 week plan.

For 1-week, I will try and conciously practice a good posture sitting, standing and whatever that is related to having good posture. Ok I’m starting Monday to make it a week… Ok. So good posture! Easy to say, hard to implement.

Anyway, life’s been good so far. No stress as yet, still chilling, comfortable job, though not very challenging yet maybe?, seems like something is wrong…. hmmm… hmmm….  …. …. …. ……….  hmmm….. I honestly have no idea what I want. Yikes! They seem to have a lot of faith in me though, accepting me graciously, treating me as if I’ve been there for eons… ok maybe not so long. The people are friendly and nice. They like gossiping but being females, who doesn’t like a good gossip? hahaha…. The environment is open enough, though I would prefer it if the windows didn’t have blinds. It would be so much nicer. The filing cabinets would be great if they weren’t blocking the windows…. what a shame. Move it elsewhere! Ooops, no place.

Apart from that, I realise I do have a hobby. A hobby in entering contests. Hahaha… Of course it’s not stamp collecting or shopping or watching movies, but entering contests brings me a fair bit of joy… *I hope*. There’s the mystery, the anxious waiting, the “OH MY GOD!!! I’VE WON!!!???” moment, which would then lead to “Is this real? Are you kidding me? This must be a joke.” moments, which would eventually lead to “Hell yeah! I won! Gosh AM I lucky/ talented!” moment. Plus there is a reward if you win, if you didn’t win, oh well let’s go on to the next one. So it’s good if I win, but it doesn’t matter if I don’t either. Hey it’s free. It’s the organizers right to give it to whoever they want *fairly mind you*. Of course there would be the “Cis! Why can’t it be me!” moments, but it’ll pass.

Anyway, anyone care to join me in acheving the goal of the week together? It’s simple enough. Soon U’ll go wonderful posture. Hahahah… Anyway, time to sign off and erm… do some other stuff….

Cheerios!