Ah! Readership has nosedived! Time to pick up the pace!

I would like to share with my readers about something which I don’t think I have ever shared before… *a quick check proves I haven’t* let’s run along now. The story begins.

The taxi is honking. My friend’s housemate checks if it’s the taxi. They help me carry my stuff down, I struggle to get my overweight luggage down a flight of stairs. The taxi driver offers his help. They load the stuff into the taxi. I drop the postcards into the mail box and a thought runs through my mind “The postcards will be in Australia longer than I will”. I bid goodbye to Aza and her housemates. My phone is ringing as I get into the taxi. That few minutes are up very quickly and the taxi pulls away from the driveway as I wave to Aza and her housemates. Lian…. calls me. She missed the farewell party. It’s 9:11pm. I receive another call, wishing me goodbye.

I leave with a heavy heart and wonder if I’ll cry in the plane. I sit in the taxi looking out. I go over the hills and curves that the 412 always goes over. The taxi stops at the lights at Toowong, Coronation Drive. I give Toowong village one last look. The lights turn green and the taxi moves along giving me a full view of the Brisbane river. I don’t remember if there was a citycat on the river when I was looking out at it. But my mind began to wonder, thinking that this is the last time I’ll be able to enjoy this scenery. Bicycle lanes and Jacaranda trees * I assume* that line the road and river. The river glimmering in the dark and the city not far away with it’s bright lights. The Regatta with a long line snaking around it. College students going out to party.

Postcards going out to the people with interesting stamps!

Approximately 12 hours before. It’s the 1st of August. I wake up and head out to the market. It’s a Saturday, have breakfast and have a last walk around the market at West End. The food stalls have changed from the first day I came. They have Japanese food now. The crepe stall is still there, so is the kebab stall and the Hungarian food stall. The buskers are still at it. A lot of dust is still kicked up when we head down towards the lower part of the market, the “free samples” apple store is still around. They have more hot dog stalls now. Hmm…

Went to the City with Aza after that. Had my last cup of Boost juice. Ordered from Top Sushi for the last time. Took pictures of the names of stores that mean something to me. Went to the Museum of Brisbane and got myself a “I <3 BNE” shirt. Waited at the bridge *Yikes! Forgot the name of the bridge* and took pictures of the sunset. Since it was winter The Sun went down rather abruptly. Headed back and started writing the postcards.

My last Boost Juice

The last Brisbane Sunset in my eyes

Fast forward to approximately 2200 hours. I’m at the airport checking in my luggage. Being the law abiding citizens they are, I get charged for excess baggage. Obviously. Was thinking “Should have shipped my luggage back.” Went through duty free and now I’m regretting why I didn’t get some stuff then. Soon enough I’m boarding the plane, finding my seat, pushing my bag into the overhead storage, the plane lifts off and the last image of Brisbane is *probably* the dock which slowly fades into darkness.

Bye bye Brisbane.

I don’t know how to start this. I guess the poem “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost comes to mind… *looks like literature in school was useful after all… useful for situations like this* … So the person is at a pathway that diverges, he picks the one which isn’t worn and that has made the difference… I guess now most of the people at my age or maybe a few… or maybe a handful.. anyway, I guess they are at that spot where the writer is, the spot where the path begins to diverge and he/she has to pick a path. The path which is well worn or the nice pathway ready to be worn by said writer.

But what if there are more pathways that we can’t see. There might be one that has been covered by the “lalang” and hidden from plain sight. Can’t we make our own path? It might lead to a cliff that drops straight down into a gushing river, but it might lead to a nice lush green meadow with a crystal clear stream flowing through it.

So now I have 3 paths, 2 in clear view, 1 is to be made. Do I take the well worn path, the road less taken or the road that has not been taken at all *or so I think, there might have been a path there but the lalang just took over*.

So far, I think I’m in the path which is pretty green and ready to be worn. But the path doesn’t seem to be taking me to places I wanna go, the end doesn’t look lush green with a nice stream… maybe it’s too soon to say. Let’s say the path is supposed to be lush green, but after awhile you find out that the trees and greenery are dying. You figure out why and you know/ feel that the end wouldn’t be very nice… Then you reach a point where you get to make the same 3 decisions again. Take that well worn path, stick to the ready to be worn path which looks like a withering jungle and the path that has to be made by yourself.

I am so eager to take my parang out and cut those darn lalangs! But there’s something holding me back, my lack of courage? My lack of enthusiasm?  My lack of self esteem? Maybe it’s all 3. All I do is mope around and not do anything about it. What’s the use doggone it! So how do I build courage? Enthusiasm ? Or self esteem?

I feel very helpless all of a sudden. This is depressing. Time to stop.

Yeap… U read that right! Of course December is movie month! We have “Avatar”! We’re gonna have “The Storm Warriors” too! Oh man! I can’t wait for Avatar…. Now I just need to coerce someone to watch it with me.. hyuk hyuk hyuk.. shouldn’t be that hard though… So I’ll probably watch Storm Warriors first… then Avatar.. cause Storm warriors is coming out first… hehehe… can’t wait Oh! There’s Sherlock Holmes coming out then too… hehehe… anyone? LOL

Anyway.. for the movies in November, I feel like watching Pisau Cukur… anyone interested? I wanna watch 2012 too.. there’s something about disaster movies that attracts the masses. Oh Astro Boy is gonna be shown in November too.. Astro boy looks Caucasian now…

Apart from declaring December as my movie month, I’m still doing the usual things that I have been doing eversince I returned from Brisbane… Which is…. nothing. Ok maybe not nothing. I am working so there is a little income flowing in… but apart from that I’m not doing anything else apart from pondering about my future… Should I work in a bank? Should I work for an accounting firm? Should I be a Management Trainee? Should I be a writer instead *Now.. this one is interesting… what about prospects?*? What do I wanna do? This is ultimately a very tough question… and I won’t know the answers until I actually try it…

I wanna go on a holiday… I wanna get a car… I wanna change my job… I wanna do so many things…. *cue… AAR – I wanna*

I wanna I wanna I wanna go on a holiday,

you wanna go on one too,

Very soon now, but we have no funds,

This holiday’s a perfect crime. *Not!*

I wanna I wanna I wanna get a car,

the car wants me too *this would be very odd….*

I wanna I wanna I wanna change my job,

The job doesn’t want me too,

What job shall I take,

I need to find the perfect job. *weird sounding lyrics..*

Looks like being a song writer is something I can’t do… hehe… I think I need to get hold of my life somehow… It might end up in a ditch somewhere and I wouldn’t even know it… or maybe it’ll even be sold and I won’t even know it! Yikes…. the problems of a graduate…. Ada kerja, tak suka. Tak ada kerja, tak ada wang. Is money that important? oh well… a lot of things can’t happen without money… and being in a communist country is something which I’m not rellly interested in.. though they actually have their upsides…

This entry is inspired by a facebook wall post, ZX posted this…

and do u remember why exactly u posted that on my wall on 29 April?

I posted…

muahahahhahahahahahaha

I didn’t remember so I went back to look at some pictures to refresh my memory, then I came upon a few snapshots. I saw one which made me think back to the days when I was studying in Australia.

All my study materials scattered on the table

Yeap! That’s my purple cup. That’s our dining table, we only use half of it to dine, so when we dine, we push everything to one side and after cleaning up, push it back down… after a couple rounds of cards though… Oh and the simple happy table is made in Malaysia! hehehe…

Yeap! That’s my fairly dirty pencil box, my calculator, my trusty mechanical pencil, my green highlighter, that would also be sheets of ACCt3102 answers. That’s also my hp stuck into a really cute panda. That would also be G Dawg hanging around on my laptop.

And that brown paper bag on the floor, it’s filled with stuff from SEXPO. Magazines, how to be safe, educational stuff… brochures maybe… and even some promotional vids… hehehe

And yes! That would be a partial shot of my roommate eating pasta, probably wearing specs too…. and if you look carefully, I’m actually facebooking and studying… Which I did more? I have no idea.. should be the latter. =)

Anyway… this picture brought back some pretty fond memories… memories of what we did in that house, memories of my ex-housemates, memories of the “house” *a unit more like*, the balcony, what we did that day. Frankly I don’t remember what I did that day, I know I went for classes then went to a book fair and studied and went to my housemate’s room to scare her… hahahha that’s why I muahahaha-ed…

The more people ask me about my job, the more I feel that “this is not what I want”.

Is it wrong to give myself/ the job 3 months for a better feel of the job?

Will I be stuck here, in a job that I have given only slighly more than a week to “enjoy”?

Is it wrong to want to feel challenged by something?

The job doesn’t even need me to be a graduate. I would say that I could do it even after SPM. Honestly speaking.

Am I not meant to like a job?

I want a career. Not a job.

This doesn’t seem like a good start.

Looks like I’m truly in a rut.

Was called awake by some stranger who told me that the cleaners were coming in half an hour at 7:30am… I want my sleep back. Woke the others and headed out carrying my none closeable laptop around… hahaha

Was obviously late. They didn’t mind, so all was fair. So I’m typing this here entry half asleep, or half awake for that matter… It’s still extremely cold and the wind is so strong it could topple a tree *ok, maybe not that strong* I think I should go sleep now… zzzz…..

Anyway, this will be the last day we’ll be here. The last time we set foot into our own unit, the last time we can see the swimming pool from our balcony and probably the last time looking out of our unit and see the coconut trees swaying in the wind. It’s beautiful this here place, I must admit that. I’m a little too exhausted to realise that we’ll never be back here again. The unit is empty now, only 2 laptops whirring and a person trying to sleep and another typing on the laptop. The cleaners? Well, I’m waiting for them to clean the walls, so the next ones aren’t here yet.

Let’s see, apart from cleaning and moving out and everything… well, I think I’ve fallen sick. Too heaty, not enough rest, not enough water, not enough of everything… Man! what time is that dude coming?

Anyway… I would miss this place… Why not? I spent a year of my life living here, of course I’ll miss it. It’ll be part of my memory forever… *and ever, you’ll stay in my heart… and I will…* Then again I’ll miss walking to classes, miss walking across the road to Oval 7, miss walking across the bridge and seeing the swimming pool, miss pressing the buzzer and start weird conversations, miss opening the door and say “tadaima”, miss the housemates, miss scaring my housemates.. hahaha Miss everything in general….

Oh well.. time for me to get some shut eye, doesn’t seem like the cleaner is coming…

Manors. Out.

I’ll miss receiving the weekly emails, I’ll miss anticipating the next game, I’ll miss the fun throws and great catches, I’ll miss wearing my team colours, I’ll miss coming out from the house at 6 and cross the road to the brightly lit Oval 7, I’ll miss everything about Oval 7 (from the grass to the flood lights), I’ll miss throwing the disc to warm up, I’ll miss team time, I’ll miss the drills that we do, I’ll miss running till I run outta breath (almost out of breath), I’ll miss my team mates, I’ll miss my team captain (captains, ex and current), I’ll miss everyone in the league even if I don’t know you, I’ll miss the times when I had no idea what was happening when someone called a foul and I ended up standing there wondering what was happening, I’ll miss huddling after each game and shouting “hooray!” *although I might stand next to a guy who well.. has… well…. hmmm….*, I’ll miss playing frisbee, I’ll miss Wednesdays!!!!!

Oh man… this is really saddening… depressing… sigh…. Hmmm.. Let’s get on with this…

Tonight! Was the finals of the UQ Ultimate League  *The Autumn one?* and we were in it again! Wow! Imagine that! It surprised us too.. but it’s still great! We lost… but “we were already winners”… hahahhaha

It was an amazing league, week after week (even though there were some weeks which it rained and the field was water logged and all.. and there was a week where the lights didn’t come on.. hahaha) it was great fun, there were downs.. but there were definitely more ups… we started the league a little shaky.. but we pulled through with some great comebacks leading towards the finals! Amazing stuff! But very nerve wrecking…

Eventhough we lost… I’ll still say we are Purely Awesome…

Pure Awesomeness!!!

It was a great team.. small but awesome!

I’ll honestly miss you guys. I’ll miss the great games we had together *although I wasn’t that good.. but.. I’ll still miss it*, who cares if we lost? It’s the great fun and great memories that last forever… *Why am I being so sentimental*

Honestly.. It’s pretty sentimental… It’s our last game in Brisbane. I’ll always remember it.

Woohoo! Pure Awesomeness!!!!

Oh dear! I won’t be a student in weeks… =( I was studying half way… *ok.. maybe trying to study* and then BHAM! It occured to me… I only have 4 weeks or less of lectures left! =( this is not good…

I still want to be a student!

I don’t want to face reality.

I don’t want to find a job and be working for the next 30+ years of the rest of my life not realising what life really is.

I wanna travel the world.

I don’t want a dead end job.

What if I can’t find a job in this current economic situation, which isn’t looking very good with the “swine” flu spreading?

What if I get to find a job, but I hate it?

What if I quit that much hated job and can’t figure out what I want to be?

What if I never find out what I want to be?

What if I get stuck in a rut and never get out of it?

What if I never get to figure out the purpose of my life, or the purpose of mankind in general?

The Earth is dying as we speak.

*What exactly was the topic of the day again? Oh yeah.*

The semester is ending! Have I accomplished anything?

What was I set out to do here anyway. I have come to realise that I didn’t quite set a target for the purpose of me studying here… I should have thought about it real hard. It just felt like a really good experience. It is a good experience, but I still feel like my old self, I don’t feel like I have grown or have I? There isn’t really a gauge for things like this now is there? Here, I get much more independence, I have to make good / bad decisions on my own, get to travel where ever and whenever I want, have to take care of myself and hopefully there are people looking out for you.

What about my studies? The main thing that I was set out to do?

It isn’t as smooth as should be. I’m jsut putting the same effort I have been when I was back in Malaysia, heck maybe even more, but it doesn’t seem reflect on my studies. Maybe cause when I’m supposed to study I start to think about things like this and have that sudden urge to blog and that darn internet and laptop is so darn assessable!

What about friends?

Well… let’s see…. I’ve kinda kept myself to Malaysian friends… then again, I don’t really have foreign friends, it ain’t that easy… maybe a handful… but Malaysian friends are always there.. and again so darn assessable! hahaha… just kiddin… I guess there are pros and cons to it. One, you’re in a foreign land, you should mix around with people of different nationalities, if you wanted to make Malaysian friend’s stay in Malaysia! Secondly, with Malaysian friends, they understand what you’re going through cause u’re in the same situation. Others might not understand, and they might think ur english is horrible.

What about life as a whole?

I think I talked about it under the first question. *Hey! How did I end up here? Forget about the main topic, this sounds more interesting!* My life like I said, feels the same, I get to buy what ever I want, eat whatever junk I want, eat all the chocolate to myself, though sharing would be so much better, trying out different things, trying things that I would not have tried *did I? hmmm…. example? hmmm… rollercoaster?” I got to go hiking and visit beaches and man! Australia has so many beaches! Tried all kinds of different food! Seen so many sights, touched a kangaroo & koala. Heck! I even fed a kangaroo and I’m terrified of animals! So it’s good so far, just that by being here, I gotta buy my own groceries, which makes me feel like an auntie. Then again since I’m buying it myself, I get to eat whatever I want… hyuk hyuk hyuk….

What about Brisbane itself?

Frankly, I’ll miss this place when I go back. From the citycat, to the punctual buses, to my classes, to picturesque UQ, to the food, to the markets, to the lazing at home and doing nothing, to having gatherings for no particular reason, to the easy availability of pork to it’s peace and safety.

It’s a nice place, it’s not a city kinda city, but I’m not a city kind of person. Maybe cause I’ve been staying here so I prefer here to Sydney/ Melbourne though each has it’s pros and cons. Brisbane is more country like, but I like the fact that it’s more nature-ish. Plenty of places for you to hike, climb, do stuff outdoors, camp & fishing? Plenty of beaches to hang out at… though they aren’t that near. It can be pretty dull at times, but I’m a rather dull person who spends so much time at the laptop I wonder why I off it sometimes.. hahahahhaha….

Brisbane has it’s own charm, it ain’t a city like how Sydney is, it ain’t a happening place like Melbourne, but it’s a quiet and peaceful place which suits me just fine. The interesting stuff is fairly easily assessable. *I wonder how many times I used assessable in this entry, all because of that darn assessable income!*

Whoops! looks like I outdid myself by not getting back into topic and talking bout a whole different topic all together!

I’ve began to take pictures of things that are a huge part of my life here but cannot be found in Malaysia. I might take pictures of my everyday life, to document what I do everyday, however mundane. My time in Australia is running out, though there are still a couple of months, but they can’t be done in a day. It takes time.

Alright! I’m starting to ge t a little emo-ish, so I better get back to studying and erm… yeah! study it is!

Chinese New Year is coming!!! but it’s gonna be a quiet one here, maybe I should go check out Chinatown if there are any decorations eh?

Anyway, the chinese new year ain’t that important here, I mean how many chinese are there in Australia? Not to mention the first day of Chinese New Year is also Australia day this year. So we get a public holiday, but since it’s a public holiday I would most probably have to work. Sad but true. So this year no delicious delicacies for me, most probably won’t get fat *nyahahha*, won’t see my relatives, won’t get red packets, no festive spirit, no one to force me to clean up my room *although I already did*, no new clothes *sob sob sob… a little too late to get new ones now… sob sob sob* and no hanging the decorations on the pussy willow tree *oddly enough I like hanging decorations on the tree.. just too darn lazy to be bothered*

Irregardless, I’ll be back for the next Chinese New Year and everydelicacy will be mine! *inserts evil laughter* Nyahahahha….

Ok this post is pretty much just utter gibberish. Was supposed to go out today but commitments later in the day pretty much disallows that. That’s what I don’t like about working I guess, it takes up a lot of your time without you realising it. If you work at night, you can’t really walk around all day cause that would make you quite exhausted and work can be exhausting sometimes.

Back to topic, the only thing I can look forward to this chinese new year is a “Reunion Dinner” with friends.. hehehe *well that’s the only thing we can do… takkanlah decorate the house together, don’t frankly that’s not bad an idea if you don’t count the cost of decorations.* Oh another thing to look forward to during chinese new year is the “Australia tour” hehehe….

time to “check out”, Cheerios! Have a wonderful Chinese New Year everyone.

P.S. If you can, do send some dried meat this way 

getting pretty dull when U got nothing to do… Tough when you got to earn money and not feeling so bored…

Maybe I should go to the “exhibition” on the history of games the day after tomorrow *gotta work tomorrow* it’s more like playing your way through the history of games.. then again I’m not that good at playing games, I’m a cheater… LOL oh well….

Hmmm… so any interesting thing happened to me lately? hmmm….. hmmm… well that day when I was working a korean “girl” asked me if I was korean? I said no… sheasked am I a teenager? I said no and told her how old I was.. she said I looked like a 17/18 year old korean… LOL maybe I should go learn korean now.. hahahhaha

Well! Chinese New Year is acoming! And! I don’t get to enjoy all the nice cookies at home, the dried meat which is ever so tasty, the muruku *yes I have muruku during Chinese New Year*, the kuih kapit, beehive… and… and cookies! LOL of course the ang pau and all but that isn’t really necessary.. it’s just extra cash for me to keep. Nyahaha.

Oh dear! In approximately 6 months time I’ll be graduating and I’ll be unemployed even before I get a job! Gasp!!! will anyone want to hire me? aish aish… ah well I’ll cross that bridge when the time comes. Now I should maximize my fun in Australia right? but how can I have fun when I don’t have a schedule on when I’m working?

Oh oh back to the getting pretty dull holidays, it’s getting so dull all I can do is walk to the supermarket check things out, hang around at the market and eat pretty interesting stuff, stay at home and watch movies *I’ve watched a lot btw*, hang around the city and “shop” *inverted commas cause I don’t buy stuff anyway. too picky.* around.

Oh on a lighter note, a high school friend came for a visit last week, pretty fun.. and we got to go to Ikea! LOL basically the Ikea here is almost the same as the one at Mutiara Damansara, the food is different though, apart from that, the stuff are mostly the same.

I wonder will I miss the stuff I take forgranted in Brisbane now? like the delicious bubble milk tea, the boost juice, the abundance of wonderful ice cream shops, the existence of organic yoghurt, a wonderful selection of cereal and confectionary, cheap tasty junk food *Doritos & Smiths*, turkish bread *lol* pretty cheap salmon if you think about it, sushi rolls everywhere, fairly affordable korean food, even cheaper subway sandwiches which are everywhere you go, the safety of the city which allows one to walk freely even in the wee hours of the morning, the fact that no one really cares about what you do as long as you don’t disturb them, the swimming pool outside my house, the nice sidewalks everywhere, cars stopping at pedestrian crossings, the beautiful jacarandas that bloom once a year, the other flowers which I have no idea what their names are which are in full bloom now, the presence of barbeque pits at almost all the parks which are found almost everywhere, eftpos *atm like card that can be used for buying stuff, like the one maybank atm card that can be used at jusco I think* and of course the freedom to do anything I want.

Wow! That’s a long paragraph… hahaha time to flee on this lazy monday afternoon.. I feel like taking a picture of the way the sofa is placed in front of the dining table where the laptop is.. hahahha typical couch potato like position.. hahaha cheerios peeps!